1
00:00:03,090 --> 00:00:04,352
Previously onMom:I'm getting a lot
of complaints.

2
00:00:04,439 --> 00:00:05,005
[crying]:
Really? About what?

3
00:00:07,485 --> 00:00:09,009
Well, apparently,
one of my waitresses

4
00:00:09,096 --> 00:00:12,229
is having a
nervous breakdown.

5
00:00:12,316 --> 00:00:14,840
Is it Jennifer?

6
00:00:14,927 --> 00:00:16,451
You're making this about me?

7
00:00:16,538 --> 00:00:18,148
No, it's okay.
I have come to understand

8
00:00:18,235 --> 00:00:19,628
that you were the best daughter
you could be.

9
00:00:19,715 --> 00:00:22,065
My job is to forgive you,
which I do.

10
00:00:22,152 --> 00:00:25,416
Oh, my God!

11
00:00:25,503 --> 00:00:27,549
I've watched you
lick cocaine crumbs

12
00:00:27,636 --> 00:00:29,725
out of a shag carpet.

13
00:00:31,770 --> 00:00:35,470
It's not a sin
to be thrifty, dear.

14
00:00:35,557 --> 00:00:37,515
I got pregnant with you
when I was a teenager,

15
00:00:37,602 --> 00:00:39,082
and please
don't take this

16
00:00:39,169 --> 00:00:42,738
the wrong way--
it ruined my life.

17
00:00:42,825 --> 00:00:45,610
Sleeping with your
boss-- who does that?

18
00:00:45,697 --> 00:00:47,090
[chuckles]

19
00:00:47,177 --> 00:00:48,048
ROSCOE:
Mom?

20
00:00:51,138 --> 00:00:56,012
Christy, you know
my, uh, wife?

21
00:00:56,099 --> 00:00:57,100
Yeah. Hi, Claudia.

22
00:00:57,187 --> 00:00:59,276
Nice to see you again.

23
00:00:59,363 --> 00:01:00,103
It's "Clowdia."

24
00:01:02,540 --> 00:01:04,238
FYI, the ladies' room
needs some attention.

25
00:01:04,325 --> 00:01:05,935
I don't know if
that's you, Christy.

26
00:01:06,022 --> 00:01:08,068
It's not,

27
00:01:08,155 --> 00:01:10,374
and it's "Christ-y."

28
00:01:10,461 --> 00:01:12,072
Oh, I almost forgot,

29
00:01:12,159 --> 00:01:13,073
your daughter thinks
she might be pregnant.

30
00:01:13,160 --> 00:01:14,248
Call me if you need me.

31
00:01:14,335 --> 00:01:15,945
[door closes]

32
00:01:16,032 --> 00:01:20,297
"Remove the test stick
from the foil wrapper

33
00:01:20,384 --> 00:01:22,473
"and take off the over-cap.

34
00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:24,780
"Holding the test
by the thumb grip,

35
00:01:24,867 --> 00:01:26,999
place the absorbent tip
in urine stream."

36
00:01:28,044 --> 00:01:30,960
You got to tinkle on it.

37
00:01:31,047 --> 00:01:35,356
It's not the first time
I've done a pregnancy test, Mom.

38
00:01:35,443 --> 00:01:37,227
Really?

39
00:01:37,314 --> 00:01:40,100
Then why'd you make me read
all those instructions?

40
00:01:41,144 --> 00:01:42,493
Not important.

41
00:01:42,580 --> 00:01:44,539
Let it rip.

42
00:01:45,975 --> 00:01:46,976
Can I have some privacy, please?

43
00:01:47,063 --> 00:01:49,587
Sure.

44
00:01:49,674 --> 00:01:51,633
[clears throat]

45
00:01:55,854 --> 00:01:58,509
Violet, I just
want you to know

46
00:01:58,596 --> 00:02:00,511
that if it turns out
you are pregnant,

47
00:02:00,598 --> 00:02:03,558
I will support you
no matter what you decide to do.

48
00:02:03,645 --> 00:02:04,820
Thank you.

49
00:02:08,215 --> 00:02:10,130
What do you think
you're gonna do?

50
00:02:10,217 --> 00:02:11,131
What?

51
00:02:11,218 --> 00:02:12,349
You know,

52
00:02:12,436 --> 00:02:13,481
which way you leaning?

53
00:02:13,568 --> 00:02:15,047
I don't know. Get out.

54
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:16,397
Okay, sorry.

55
00:02:19,182 --> 00:02:21,010
You know, when I found out
I was pregnant with you,

56
00:02:21,097 --> 00:02:24,492
a home pregnancy test
took about 20 minutes.

57
00:02:24,579 --> 00:02:25,493
Uh-huh.

58
00:02:25,580 --> 00:02:27,625
Now it's two minutes.

59
00:02:27,712 --> 00:02:29,932
That's progress.

60
00:02:30,019 --> 00:02:31,499
Yay, science.

61
00:02:31,586 --> 00:02:33,762
I guess.

62
00:02:33,849 --> 00:02:35,155
I mean, it's good news for you,

63
00:02:35,242 --> 00:02:36,591
because the nervous waiting time
is less.

64
00:02:36,678 --> 00:02:38,897
Mom, I can't do this
if you're talking to me.

65
00:02:38,984 --> 00:02:40,334
All right, sure.

66
00:02:40,421 --> 00:02:41,900
Pee-shy runs in the family.

67
00:02:41,987 --> 00:02:42,988
Mom!

68
00:02:43,075 --> 00:02:44,076
Sorry.

69
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:45,426
[trickling]

70
00:02:45,513 --> 00:02:46,557
Oh, good girl!

71
00:02:46,644 --> 00:02:47,341
Be quiet!

72
00:02:47,428 --> 00:02:48,994
[knocking]

73
00:02:49,081 --> 00:02:51,736
Hello?

74
00:02:51,823 --> 00:02:52,911
Hi.

75
00:02:52,998 --> 00:02:53,912
What's the word?

76
00:02:53,999 --> 00:02:56,263
She's doing the test now.

77
00:02:56,350 --> 00:02:57,002
We'll know in a couple minutes.

78
00:02:57,089 --> 00:03:00,223
Wow. Gulp.

79
00:03:00,310 --> 00:03:02,269
Yeah.

80
00:03:02,356 --> 00:03:03,661
When I was pregnant with you,

81
00:03:03,748 --> 00:03:05,489
those home kits took,
like, two hours.

82
00:03:05,576 --> 00:03:09,754
Really?It was a long wait
in a gas station bathroom.

83
00:03:09,841 --> 00:03:10,625
Bonnie, is that you?Yeah, honey.

84
00:03:10,712 --> 00:03:12,322
Can you come in?

85
00:03:12,409 --> 00:03:15,195
Of course.

86
00:03:15,282 --> 00:03:18,415
Why does your grandmother
get to go in and I don't?

87
00:03:18,502 --> 00:03:20,243
Because she won't
lecture me.

88
00:03:20,330 --> 00:03:23,115
I-I don't lecture.

89
00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:25,117
I share my experiences

90
00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:27,859
in the hope that you'll have
a better life than I had,

91
00:03:27,946 --> 00:03:29,078
and frankly, I think you
could be a little more grateful.

92
00:03:29,165 --> 00:03:30,166
Oh, screw it, I'm coming in.

93
00:03:30,253 --> 00:03:33,038
What's it say?
What's it say?

94
00:03:33,125 --> 00:03:34,649
Nothing yet.

95
00:03:34,736 --> 00:03:35,998
Oh, God, oh, God.

96
00:03:36,085 --> 00:03:36,912
I know, it's so exciting.

97
00:03:36,999 --> 00:03:39,001
I'm glad you're excited.

98
00:03:39,088 --> 00:03:40,263
I'm scared to death.

99
00:03:40,350 --> 00:03:42,047
Hey, don't you worry.

100
00:03:42,134 --> 00:03:44,789
I'm gonna be here for you
whenever you need me, 24-7.

101
00:03:44,876 --> 00:03:46,835
Thanks, Bonnie.

102
00:03:48,358 --> 00:03:50,447
I'm gonna be here
for you, too.

103
00:03:50,534 --> 00:03:52,536
That's your job, Mom.

104
00:03:52,623 --> 00:03:53,624
Ooh.

105
00:03:53,711 --> 00:03:55,235
Here we go,
showtime.

106
00:03:59,151 --> 00:04:02,242
Okay.

107
00:04:02,329 --> 00:04:04,418
Wow.

108
00:04:04,505 --> 00:04:06,028
You doing all right?

109
00:04:06,115 --> 00:04:08,813
I... don't know.

110
00:04:08,900 --> 00:04:11,425
Excuse me.

111
00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:17,605
I can't believe this.

112
00:04:17,692 --> 00:04:19,520
Hey, you have to take
some of the responsibility

113
00:04:19,607 --> 00:04:21,130
for this pregnancy.

114
00:04:21,217 --> 00:04:22,523
Are you kidding?

115
00:04:22,610 --> 00:04:24,264
We had the talk.

116
00:04:24,351 --> 00:04:26,614
I told her about abstinence,
condoms, everything.

117
00:04:26,701 --> 00:04:28,833
Did you mention oral sex
as a work-around?

118
00:04:30,879 --> 00:04:32,315
Oh, my God, it is my fault.

119
00:04:52,422 --> 00:04:53,467
[sighs]

120
00:04:55,251 --> 00:04:58,515
When are you gonna stop
with the bangs?

121
00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:00,474
What?

122
00:05:00,561 --> 00:05:03,172
I just... I understood it

123
00:05:03,259 --> 00:05:04,956
when you had a forehead
full of pimples,

124
00:05:05,043 --> 00:05:07,132
but now you're just hiding
a pretty face.

125
00:05:07,219 --> 00:05:09,134
This is the look now.

126
00:05:09,221 --> 00:05:11,136
The First Lady
wears her hair like this.

127
00:05:11,223 --> 00:05:14,096
Well, I don't think
it works on her, either.

128
00:05:14,183 --> 00:05:16,925
Noted.

129
00:05:17,012 --> 00:05:20,015
[sighs]

130
00:05:20,102 --> 00:05:21,277
What are we gonna do
about Violet?

131
00:05:21,364 --> 00:05:22,452
I love her hair.

132
00:05:24,062 --> 00:05:25,673
No, the pregnancy.

133
00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:27,805
I don't want her
to wind up like us.

134
00:05:27,892 --> 00:05:29,111
What's the matter with us?

135
00:05:30,895 --> 00:05:33,507
The fact that you don't know
speaks volumes.

136
00:05:35,552 --> 00:05:37,685
She has options.

137
00:05:37,772 --> 00:05:39,382
I know.

138
00:05:39,469 --> 00:05:42,167
[sighs]
Did I ever tell you

139
00:05:42,254 --> 00:05:44,344
how close I came
to giving you up for adoption?

140
00:05:45,867 --> 00:05:47,390
What?

141
00:05:47,477 --> 00:05:49,218
Lovely Jewish couple
from San Francisco,

142
00:05:49,305 --> 00:05:52,134
the Lowensteins.

143
00:05:52,221 --> 00:05:55,050
She played cello
for the philharmonic.

144
00:05:55,137 --> 00:05:56,573
He was a cardiologist.

145
00:05:56,660 --> 00:05:57,748
You never told me this.

146
00:05:57,835 --> 00:05:58,923
Oh, yeah.

147
00:05:59,010 --> 00:06:01,186
They offered me $25,000 for you.

148
00:06:01,273 --> 00:06:02,362
Why didn't you take it?

149
00:06:02,449 --> 00:06:05,365
They sound fantastic.

150
00:06:05,452 --> 00:06:08,019
Well, they were,
but you were my baby girl.

151
00:06:08,106 --> 00:06:08,237
I loved you.

152
00:06:10,674 --> 00:06:12,154
If you really loved me,

153
00:06:12,241 --> 00:06:15,244
you would've sold me
to the Lowensteins.

154
00:06:15,331 --> 00:06:18,160
Maybe if they'd gone to 30.

155
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:22,077
I've made a decision.

156
00:06:24,775 --> 00:06:26,473
I'm gonna be a mom.

157
00:06:28,605 --> 00:06:29,345
Eek.

158
00:06:31,303 --> 00:06:34,394
Okay.

159
00:06:34,481 --> 00:06:36,961
Well, then,

160
00:06:37,048 --> 00:06:38,441
congratulations.

161
00:06:40,574 --> 00:06:42,140
We're having a baby.

162
00:06:42,227 --> 00:06:44,969
I'm so happy
for you, Violet.

163
00:06:45,056 --> 00:06:46,841
Thanks.And the great thing

164
00:06:46,928 --> 00:06:49,191
about having a baby so
young is after a few years,

165
00:06:49,278 --> 00:06:51,498
you can tell people
the kid's your sibling.

166
00:06:51,585 --> 00:06:53,543
Right, sis?

167
00:06:56,285 --> 00:06:58,418
That's not as cute
as you think it is.

168
00:07:02,857 --> 00:07:04,293
Uh, couple of questions.

169
00:07:04,380 --> 00:07:07,644
What about high school?

170
00:07:07,731 --> 00:07:09,124
What about it?

171
00:07:09,211 --> 00:07:10,691
The baby won't be born
till after I graduate,

172
00:07:10,778 --> 00:07:12,344
so it shouldn't
be a problem.

173
00:07:13,737 --> 00:07:15,696
Eek.

174
00:07:17,219 --> 00:07:18,307
I guess the next thing
to do is call Luke.

175
00:07:18,394 --> 00:07:20,352
You think he's
the father?

176
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:21,484
I know he's the father.

177
00:07:21,571 --> 00:07:23,443
How about that?
Old-school.

178
00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:27,142
Grandma!

179
00:07:27,229 --> 00:07:28,143
Ah, ah, ah.

180
00:07:28,230 --> 00:07:29,318
Aunt Bonnie.

181
00:07:29,405 --> 00:07:31,059
There's my boy.

182
00:07:31,146 --> 00:07:33,714
Why do you have
glitter on your shirt?

183
00:07:33,801 --> 00:07:35,367
Dad took me
to his girlfriend's apartment.

184
00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:37,239
I learned how to swing
on a pole.

185
00:07:38,632 --> 00:07:40,460
He's a natural.

186
00:07:42,810 --> 00:07:45,465
I thought your girlfriend worked
at Bed, Bath and Beyond?

187
00:07:45,552 --> 00:07:47,597
Doesn't mean she can't dream.

188
00:07:47,684 --> 00:07:49,425
Okay.

189
00:07:49,512 --> 00:07:52,472
Go wash the sad lady
off your hands.

190
00:07:53,864 --> 00:07:55,300
[sighs]

191
00:07:55,387 --> 00:07:56,388
Thanks for taking him
this afternoon.

192
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:58,826
Hey, I'm his dad.

193
00:07:58,913 --> 00:08:01,219
If I can't spend two hours
a week with him, who can?

194
00:08:01,306 --> 00:08:02,438
It's not always great

195
00:08:02,525 --> 00:08:05,354
knowing who the father is.

196
00:08:10,402 --> 00:08:12,709
Why is my son pregnant?

197
00:08:18,802 --> 00:08:20,543
[sighs]

198
00:08:20,630 --> 00:08:24,329
Well, that's a window
into a dark room.

199
00:08:25,592 --> 00:08:26,375
Sorry.

200
00:08:26,462 --> 00:08:29,160
You okay?

201
00:08:29,247 --> 00:08:30,205
I'm fine.

202
00:08:30,292 --> 00:08:31,554
Come on.

203
00:08:31,641 --> 00:08:32,555
Okay.

204
00:08:32,642 --> 00:08:34,514
Well, I just found out

205
00:08:34,601 --> 00:08:37,342
my teenage daughter is pregnant.

206
00:08:37,429 --> 00:08:39,997
Really? Wow.

207
00:08:40,084 --> 00:08:42,565
She's not a cheerleader
with an overbite, is she?

208
00:08:44,611 --> 00:08:46,787
No. Why?

209
00:08:46,874 --> 00:08:48,832
No reason.

210
00:08:49,616 --> 00:08:52,357
Okay.

211
00:08:52,444 --> 00:08:53,924
Nice talking to you, Chef Rudy.

212
00:08:54,011 --> 00:08:56,536
Stay strong, waitress whose name
I do not know.

213
00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:00,540
Thank God.

214
00:09:03,499 --> 00:09:05,501
Here we are.

215
00:09:05,588 --> 00:09:06,850
Oh.
[clears throat]

216
00:09:06,937 --> 00:09:07,634
How is the Chardonnay?

217
00:09:07,721 --> 00:09:08,504
It is delicious.

218
00:09:08,591 --> 00:09:10,375
Good choice.

219
00:09:10,462 --> 00:09:12,900
Oh, yeah, back in the day,

220
00:09:12,987 --> 00:09:16,338
I could get lost
in a bottle of this stuff.

221
00:09:16,425 --> 00:09:18,427
One time, I woke up
in a Best Western hotel

222
00:09:18,514 --> 00:09:21,256
with two of the roadies
from Counting Crows.

223
00:09:23,171 --> 00:09:25,129
But I'm sure
that won't happen to you.

224
00:09:25,216 --> 00:09:27,567
Uh, bon appétit.

225
00:09:30,482 --> 00:09:32,833
Hey.

226
00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:34,095
Hey.

227
00:09:36,097 --> 00:09:36,750
I miss you.

228
00:09:36,837 --> 00:09:38,578
Oh, thanks.

229
00:09:41,842 --> 00:09:43,495
You miss me?

230
00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:45,541
Yeah, sure, I guess.

231
00:09:45,628 --> 00:09:47,804
Well, that's not
very encouraging.

232
00:09:47,891 --> 00:09:50,894
I'm sorry. I got
a lot on my mind.

233
00:09:50,981 --> 00:09:53,331
Well, I'm a good listener.

234
00:09:53,418 --> 00:09:55,595
A penny for your thoughts?

235
00:09:57,727 --> 00:10:00,121
Okay, fine. How's this?

236
00:10:00,208 --> 00:10:03,341
I'm working my ass off so I
can take care of my children,

237
00:10:03,428 --> 00:10:05,430
I just found out I'm gonna
be a freaking grandma,

238
00:10:05,517 --> 00:10:07,171
and the man that
I'm sleeping with

239
00:10:07,258 --> 00:10:08,695
only has time for me when
his wife is out of town,

240
00:10:08,782 --> 00:10:11,088
and I desperately want
to run away from it all

241
00:10:11,175 --> 00:10:12,829
with a bottle of this,
but I can't

242
00:10:12,916 --> 00:10:13,961
because my name is Christy
and I'm an alcoholic.

243
00:10:14,048 --> 00:10:15,615
Hola, Christy.

244
00:10:19,183 --> 00:10:21,403
MAN [over stereo]:
In this moment,
my life is perfect.

245
00:10:21,490 --> 00:10:23,405
[sighs]

246
00:10:23,492 --> 00:10:25,146
In this moment,

247
00:10:25,233 --> 00:10:26,538
my life is perfect.

248
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:28,584
I breathe in love.

249
00:10:28,671 --> 00:10:30,412
I breathe out fear.

250
00:10:30,499 --> 00:10:33,023
I breathe in love.

251
00:10:33,110 --> 00:10:34,546
I breathe out fear.

252
00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:35,722
[knocking]

253
00:10:35,809 --> 00:10:37,245
[screams, horn honks]

254
00:10:39,769 --> 00:10:41,641
Ah, I...

255
00:10:41,728 --> 00:10:43,468
didn't see you there, Luke.

256
00:10:43,555 --> 00:10:44,600
I could tell.

257
00:10:44,687 --> 00:10:45,993
How's it going?

258
00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:47,821
Pretty good.
Um, Violet texted me

259
00:10:47,908 --> 00:10:49,997
that we needed to talk,
so I came right over after work,

260
00:10:50,084 --> 00:10:51,085
and I brought sliders.

261
00:10:51,172 --> 00:10:53,348
Yum.

262
00:10:53,435 --> 00:10:55,002
They give us the ones
that smell iffy.

263
00:10:56,046 --> 00:10:58,135
Double yum.

264
00:10:58,222 --> 00:10:59,920
Yeah, it's a pretty sweet perk.

265
00:11:01,312 --> 00:11:02,662
So how was your day?

266
00:11:02,749 --> 00:11:03,793
Not great.

267
00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:05,229
Oh, I'm sorry
to hear that.

268
00:11:05,316 --> 00:11:06,404
Mine's been awesome.

269
00:11:06,491 --> 00:11:07,797
I got promoted
to shift manager

270
00:11:07,884 --> 00:11:10,321
and found five dollars
in the men's room.

271
00:11:10,408 --> 00:11:10,713
It wasn't even that wet.

272
00:11:13,281 --> 00:11:14,586
You're on fire.

273
00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:16,066
Right?

274
00:11:17,807 --> 00:11:19,330
Come on in.

275
00:11:19,417 --> 00:11:21,681
Let's see what the rest
of your life looks like.

276
00:11:23,900 --> 00:11:25,293
Hey, Vi.
Hi, Luke.

277
00:11:25,380 --> 00:11:26,642
Um, I'd kiss you,
but I don't want your mom

278
00:11:26,729 --> 00:11:28,557
to get the wrong idea
about me.

279
00:11:31,255 --> 00:11:33,736
[quietly]:
Has that ship sailed.

280
00:11:33,823 --> 00:11:34,998
So, what's going on?

281
00:11:35,085 --> 00:11:37,653
Well, I got some
kind of big news.

282
00:11:37,740 --> 00:11:38,872
Cool. What?

283
00:11:38,959 --> 00:11:40,656
Okay, um...

284
00:11:40,743 --> 00:11:42,049
Violet, wait.

285
00:11:42,136 --> 00:11:44,704
Luke, can you
give us a minute?

286
00:11:44,791 --> 00:11:46,270
Sure. I'll nuke
these bad boys

287
00:11:46,357 --> 00:11:47,794
so we don't get
the squirts.

288
00:11:49,621 --> 00:11:52,276
Isn't he amazing?

289
00:11:52,363 --> 00:11:55,671
Yeah.

290
00:11:55,758 --> 00:11:59,196
I just think it's important
that you understand

291
00:11:59,283 --> 00:12:02,373
he might not have the maturity
to deal with this situation.

292
00:12:02,460 --> 00:12:03,723
I'm just gonna hit
the popcorn button

293
00:12:03,810 --> 00:12:04,985
and see what happens.

294
00:12:08,379 --> 00:12:10,773
Luke loves me. I love him.

295
00:12:10,860 --> 00:12:12,340
We're gonna make this work.

296
00:12:12,427 --> 00:12:14,559
Honey, I just don't want you
to get hurt.

297
00:12:14,646 --> 00:12:17,737
Young guys spook real easy,

298
00:12:17,824 --> 00:12:19,739
and you can't count on them
sticking around.

299
00:12:19,826 --> 00:12:22,132
Whoa.

300
00:12:22,219 --> 00:12:23,699
I think I know what
you wanted to tell me.

301
00:12:23,786 --> 00:12:26,006
You do?

302
00:12:26,093 --> 00:12:27,703
Yeah.

303
00:12:27,790 --> 00:12:29,618
You're having a baby.

304
00:12:32,664 --> 00:12:35,232
So close.

305
00:12:37,931 --> 00:12:39,106
Violet?

306
00:12:40,672 --> 00:12:43,327
Luke, I'm having a baby.

307
00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:46,200
Wait.

308
00:12:46,287 --> 00:12:48,942
So you're both pregnant?

309
00:12:51,683 --> 00:12:53,773
No, just me.

310
00:12:53,860 --> 00:12:55,557
Oh.

311
00:12:55,644 --> 00:13:00,431
Well, that's...

312
00:13:00,518 --> 00:13:01,781
so cool!

313
00:13:03,652 --> 00:13:05,828
There's still time for you.

314
00:13:05,915 --> 00:13:07,917
Not much, but keep at it.

315
00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:09,832
Thank you.

316
00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:15,403
So you're not gonna get
scared and run off?

317
00:13:15,490 --> 00:13:17,144
Why would I run off?

318
00:13:17,231 --> 00:13:19,799
I love you,
and I'm gonna love your baby.

319
00:13:19,886 --> 00:13:23,759
Um, it's our baby.

320
00:13:23,846 --> 00:13:26,631
What?

321
00:13:31,854 --> 00:13:33,247
Even better!

322
00:13:40,602 --> 00:13:42,734
That's why I get so frustrated
with the people at work.

323
00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:46,956
[quietly]:
I slept with that guy.

324
00:13:47,043 --> 00:13:48,653
Really?

325
00:13:48,740 --> 00:13:51,831
He cries when he finishes.

326
00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:54,137
What do you mean?

327
00:13:54,224 --> 00:13:55,965
Like a happy cry?
No.

328
00:13:56,052 --> 00:13:57,619
More like a...

329
00:13:57,706 --> 00:13:59,708
[sobs in low voice]

330
00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:05,932
And that tiny dude over there
in the red shirt?

331
00:14:06,019 --> 00:14:08,064
Did you sleep
with him, too?

332
00:14:08,151 --> 00:14:09,979
Well, I wasn't going to at first
because of our height disparity,

333
00:14:10,066 --> 00:14:13,461
and then I decided to do it
anyway as, like, a good deed.

334
00:14:16,029 --> 00:14:17,378
That's how you
get into Heaven:

335
00:14:17,465 --> 00:14:21,164
letting a little
guy go up on you.

336
00:14:21,251 --> 00:14:23,688
I wish. All he wanted to do
was spank me.

337
00:14:25,908 --> 00:14:29,433
Well, no good deed
goes unpunished.

338
00:14:29,520 --> 00:14:33,481
I had to sit
on my hip for a week.

339
00:14:33,568 --> 00:14:35,613
So how many men at this
meeting have you slept with?

340
00:14:35,700 --> 00:14:37,572
Oh, please,
this is a sacred space

341
00:14:37,659 --> 00:14:38,660
dedicated to recovery
and healing.

342
00:14:38,747 --> 00:14:40,880
Six.

343
00:14:44,405 --> 00:14:45,797
WOMAN:
Anyone else like to share?

344
00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:49,192
Oh, me.

345
00:14:49,279 --> 00:14:51,978
Haven't you shared enough?

346
00:14:52,065 --> 00:14:53,240
Hi. I'm Bonnie,

347
00:14:53,327 --> 00:14:54,719
and I'm an alcoholic.

348
00:14:54,806 --> 00:14:56,547
ALL:
Hi, Bonnie.I just want

349
00:14:56,634 --> 00:14:58,332
to start by saying how grateful
I am to this program.

350
00:14:58,419 --> 00:15:02,249
Not only am I happily sober,
but so is my daughter.

351
00:15:02,336 --> 00:15:05,078
And let me tell you,
she was a hot mess.

352
00:15:05,165 --> 00:15:06,557
Come on.
Stand up, honey.

353
00:15:06,644 --> 00:15:07,776
Let everybody see
how pretty you are now.

354
00:15:10,779 --> 00:15:12,563
Imagine her without the bangs.

355
00:15:15,479 --> 00:15:17,177
P.S. She's single, fellas.

356
00:15:18,656 --> 00:15:19,657
Not for you, Spanky.

357
00:15:21,703 --> 00:15:24,140
Anyhow, it's just a real gift
to have her back in my life.

358
00:15:24,227 --> 00:15:26,012
And, uh, I know
I wasn't the world's

359
00:15:26,099 --> 00:15:27,578
greatest mom
when she was growing up,

360
00:15:27,665 --> 00:15:29,885
what with all my drinking
and drugging and dealing

361
00:15:29,972 --> 00:15:31,321
and managing
an international escort service

362
00:15:31,408 --> 00:15:33,802
with ties
to the Russian mob, but...

363
00:15:33,889 --> 00:15:37,197
You know, it's hard
to have a career and be a mom.

364
00:15:37,284 --> 00:15:38,415
Am I right, ladies?

365
00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:43,899
I remember this one time,
she was five years old.

366
00:15:43,986 --> 00:15:45,814
Maybe she was 11.
The point is she was little.

367
00:15:45,901 --> 00:15:48,860
And I pulled her out of school,
moved us up to Manitoba

368
00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:50,732
where I opened up
a daycare center

369
00:15:50,819 --> 00:15:54,301
that was a front
for an Ecstasy distribution hub.

370
00:15:54,388 --> 00:15:56,042
It worked out really well

371
00:15:56,129 --> 00:15:59,871
until one Mountie
had to be a freaking hero.

372
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:03,440
You are so lucky
to have her for a mother.

373
00:16:03,527 --> 00:16:05,355
You don't have to tell me.

374
00:16:05,442 --> 00:16:06,443
She's a...
I mean it!

375
00:16:06,530 --> 00:16:07,749
You don't have to tell me.

376
00:16:09,794 --> 00:16:12,362
Don't get me wrong.
I love Canada.

377
00:16:12,449 --> 00:16:13,885
Hey, remember Canadian beer?

378
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:15,975
Wasn't that great?

379
00:16:20,936 --> 00:16:23,417
Hello?

380
00:16:23,504 --> 00:16:23,808
Violet?

381
00:16:28,378 --> 00:16:30,163
Did you finish
your homework?
Yep.

382
00:16:30,250 --> 00:16:31,903
Did you brush
your teeth?

383
00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:33,340
I think so.

384
00:16:33,427 --> 00:16:34,950
Mmm, what do you mean,
you "think so"?

385
00:16:35,037 --> 00:16:36,386
My brain is full.

386
00:16:36,473 --> 00:16:39,041
I'm worried
about the Middle East.

387
00:16:39,128 --> 00:16:40,347
VIOLET:
All right,
you'll brush

388
00:16:40,434 --> 00:16:42,001
twice as long
in the morning.

389
00:16:42,088 --> 00:16:43,132
Get in there.

390
00:16:44,481 --> 00:16:44,916
Middle East.

391
00:16:50,313 --> 00:16:52,402
Want to know a secret?

392
00:16:52,489 --> 00:16:53,403
Sure.

393
00:16:53,490 --> 00:16:55,579
You're gonna be an uncle.

394
00:16:55,666 --> 00:16:56,754
Cool.

395
00:16:56,841 --> 00:16:58,887
Do you know
what that means?

396
00:16:58,974 --> 00:17:00,932
Yeah. I'm your boyfriend
and I get to sleep over.

397
00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:05,241
No, that's a different kind
of uncle.

398
00:17:05,328 --> 00:17:07,939
It means
that I'm gonna have a baby.

399
00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:10,029
Really?

400
00:17:10,116 --> 00:17:12,422
A human baby?

401
00:17:14,381 --> 00:17:16,731
I hope so.

402
00:17:18,472 --> 00:17:20,039
But I'm gonna need your help.

403
00:17:20,126 --> 00:17:21,431
With what?

404
00:17:21,518 --> 00:17:22,824
Taking care of the baby.

405
00:17:22,911 --> 00:17:25,305
Oh, sure.
I'll take good care of it

406
00:17:25,392 --> 00:17:27,437
like you take good care of me.

407
00:17:27,524 --> 00:17:29,787
You're gonna be
a great uncle.

408
00:17:29,874 --> 00:17:31,702
ROSCOE:
I have a secret, too.

409
00:17:31,789 --> 00:17:33,269
VIOLET:
What's that?

410
00:17:33,356 --> 00:17:35,619
I haven't brushed my teeth
in three days.

411
00:17:35,706 --> 00:17:37,056
You little stinker!

412
00:17:40,972 --> 00:17:43,410
Mom?

413
00:17:43,497 --> 00:17:44,498
[sobbing softly]

414
00:17:44,585 --> 00:17:46,848
What's wrong?

415
00:17:49,285 --> 00:17:51,505
You're a better mother
than I am.

416
00:17:54,421 --> 00:17:54,943
I know.

417
00:18:00,905 --> 00:18:03,952
You're gonna love
my gynecologist.

418
00:18:04,039 --> 00:18:06,172
He's got very small hands.

419
00:18:07,303 --> 00:18:09,697
Like an Asian raccoon.

420
00:18:09,784 --> 00:18:10,872
Mom, please!

421
00:18:15,268 --> 00:18:17,008
I'm gonna be an uncle.

422
00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:19,228
Unless it's a girl.
Then I'll be an aunt.

423
00:18:21,056 --> 00:18:23,841
I respect
your open-mindedness.

424
00:18:23,928 --> 00:18:28,107
Gotta give this kid Luke
points for showing up.

425
00:18:28,194 --> 00:18:30,457
He claims he loves her.

426
00:18:30,544 --> 00:18:31,980
Well, we'll see.

427
00:18:32,067 --> 00:18:33,416
I had three significant
relationships end

428
00:18:33,503 --> 00:18:34,896
while I was pregnant
with you, so...

429
00:18:39,248 --> 00:18:40,815
Christy?

430
00:18:40,902 --> 00:18:42,208
Carla?

431
00:18:42,295 --> 00:18:43,687
Hi.

432
00:18:43,774 --> 00:18:45,776
I haven't seen you
since high school.

433
00:18:45,863 --> 00:18:47,561
Yeah, hi!

434
00:18:47,648 --> 00:18:49,737
Wow! Look at you.

435
00:18:49,824 --> 00:18:51,913
Yeah, finally getting around
to starting a family.

436
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:52,914
And you?

437
00:18:53,001 --> 00:18:55,046
I, uh...

438
00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:58,441
I'm fighting
a nasty yeast infection.

439
00:18:59,660 --> 00:19:01,488
And with the support

440
00:19:01,575 --> 00:19:05,144
of her entire family,
she will win this battle.

441
00:19:11,715 --> 00:19:13,195
Am I right?

442
00:19:13,282 --> 00:19:14,849
Oh, come on.

443
00:19:17,504 --> 00:19:19,419
And there is your baby.

444
00:19:21,116 --> 00:19:23,162
Wow.

445
00:19:24,728 --> 00:19:26,339
Luke, look what we made.

446
00:19:26,426 --> 00:19:27,949
Unreal.

447
00:19:28,036 --> 00:19:30,038
I can't wait for it
to grow feet

448
00:19:30,125 --> 00:19:33,041
so I can make
moccasins for it.

449
00:19:33,128 --> 00:19:34,434
Mom, come here.

450
00:19:37,306 --> 00:19:38,873
I'm gonna need your help.

451
00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:40,135
I'll be here.

452
00:19:45,619 --> 00:19:47,490
Mom?

453
00:19:49,362 --> 00:19:50,972
I'm gonna need your help.

454
00:19:51,059 --> 00:19:53,192
I'm not going
anywhere.

455
00:19:56,456 --> 00:19:58,501
"Clitoris."

456
00:20:08,163 --> 00:20:11,732
[humming]

457
00:20:11,819 --> 00:20:13,603
Well, someone's in a good mood.

458
00:20:13,690 --> 00:20:15,997
You know, I am.

459
00:20:16,084 --> 00:20:17,912
I am just loving my life
right now.

460
00:20:17,999 --> 00:20:20,088
Mmm. Cocaine?

461
00:20:22,656 --> 00:20:23,091
Family.

462
00:20:24,092 --> 00:20:26,050
Family.

463
00:20:26,137 --> 00:20:28,183
That stuff will kill you.

464
00:20:28,270 --> 00:20:29,140
Captioning sponsored by
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465
00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:30,141
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466
00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:32,274
and TOYOTA.

467
00:20:32,361 --> 00:20:32,970
Captioned by
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